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August 8, 2007
Once there was Dina...
There’s a girl I know named Donna... and I know her because of another girl who was one of my best friends ever in this world...
Eight years ago, my world crashed... my marriage fell apart... my then-husband felt compelled to run away from home in search of completion he didn’t find at home... and I thought I’d die... thought my heart would simply stop beating... my lungs would stop pumping air... and in the midst of the pain, God filled my heart with a peace that surpassed understanding... gave me strength to get through each day one minute at a time... then one hour at a time... then one day at a time...
God was (and is) always, always sublimely and supremely faithful to hold me up and love me... to fill my heart with love and prayers instead of anger or bitterness... and finally the wounds healed and I was able to let go of the past and grasp the future... and God prepared me for the man who is now my husband... whose life and love and faith I share... and I can say with all honesty that my cup runneth over... that I am indeed a woman blessed among women... that I am where I belong to be... and with whom I belong to be with...
I share that story with you to set the scene for this one...
One of the blessings He gave me during that dark time was Dina... a new friend whose heart beat for mine... who prayed for me... and talked to me... who listened to me and wept with me... and who, on my wedding anniversary that first year, left her three babies at home with their father in New Jersey to travel to the deep south to spend the weekend with me...
I met her at the airport... literally... we were internet friends... telephone friends... letter writing friends... till that point...
I had a bouquet of helium balloons with me so she’d recognize me... she knew I was blonde and I knew she was brunette... we hadn't even exchanged photos... and, oh, how we laughed with delight when we realized we were both wearing jeans, brown boots, and matching black tops... and the sisterly love that had begun in hours of online chat was cemented at first sight... as we walked through the airport on the way to my car, she took the greatest delight in handing out the balloons one at a time to children we passed along the way...
Our weekend was full and blessed... we had surprise gifts for one another... I’d gotten her an Atlanta Braves shirt... and she had me a New York Yankees shirt... we had plans to go to a tatoo shop the next morning and get me a little heart tattoo (Dina had a little rose)... but we went that night and did it... we had so much fun playing around and entertained everybody there... I wanted a teensy, teensy dime-sized heart and Dina exclaimed, “Omigoodness... you can’t get one that little... have you seen the size of your canvas lately?” I thought I’d choke, I laughed so hard... and I got one a little bigger... she paid for it... called it my un-anniversary gift...
We went home and watched her then-favorite television show... Cops... and I still never hear “Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when we come for you?” without thinking of Dina...
We got up the next morning and surprised each other in the kitchen wearing matching clothes again... this time jeans and long-sleeved chocolate colored tops we’d both bought at Victoria’s Secret... we went to Underground Atlanta... Five Points... and Little Five Points... ate lunch at a sidewalk cafe... bought matching souvenirs... little elephants... then went out to supper at my favorite Cajun restaurant and sampled nearly everything on the menu... okay, maybe not everything, but we had four or five entrees filling our table and not nearly enough room for it all inside our tummies...
She went to church with me the next morning... didn’t bring a dress to wear because we knew we were both the same size, so she wore one of mine... and she being Catholic and me going to a little Missionary Baptist church, it was an adventure... she asked me what would happen and I tried to give her the run-down ahead of time... I sang in the choir and she kept waving at me and giggling because she knew that sedate me in the choir had a brand new tattoo... and I waved back... she put a note in the collection basket that said, “Dear Jesus, please take care of my friend because she loves you and she needs you.” (I know because the preacher showed it to me later.) She asked me if he would yell and I told her no, but I was so used to the pastor’s preaching that I didn’t even notice he did yell til I looked over to see her cringing... and she whispered, “You said he didn’t yell... he’s yelling!” I said, “No he’s not,” and she said, “Yes, he is!” and I suddenly realized, omigosh... he is!!!!” When we left, she had a hundred questions... what does he mean by saved... why were they dedicating the baby... and more... and I answered them all the best I could.
I made teddy bears for her babies for Christmas... and we shared more love and laughter, tears and smiles, secrets and stories... our friend Robbie, who Dina introduced me to because she said we were both spiritual and talked about God the same way... once sent us both big packages full of treats, including home-made brownies... and Dina called me to ask if I’d eaten mine yet and I told her I was about to, and she said, “Well, you eat yours and if you don’t die, I’ll eat mine”... and I ate mine, and she ate hers, and the brownies were, incidentally, delicious, and neither of us died... in fact, Robbie was one of the groomsmen at my wedding a couple of years ago...
Then... a couple of years later... in 2002... she was in a freak motorcycles accident in New York where there are no helmet laws... and my beloved Dina didn’t wake up...
Enter Donna... Dina’s heart friend... with children of her own... who went to the hospital practically every day after work to see Dina... to talk to her... to play Dina’s favorite music for her... to put lotion on her sweet skin... to exercise her arms and legs... and did this with love and devotion for years, till Dina was moved to an upstate facility too far away for Donna to go to as frequently, but she still went every chance she got. I’d write to Donna once in a blue moon to let her know that I still loved and remembered, and prayed and thought of Dina every day... to let her know Dina wasn’t and never will be forgotten...
And then I met the man who is now my husband... married... changed my name... moved... (had already changed my phone number, thanks to a stalker...) and didn’t get back in touch with Donna til a week or so ago... just a little card to let her know I was still praying for Dina... still loved her and thought of her... and that I was praying for her, Donna, too...
Last night I got home to a card from Donna... Dina died in March 2006... Donna had tried to reach me, but couldn’t find me...
And so I sat last night and wept for the beautiful... inside and out... friend who is no longer of this world... am weeping now... I trust and believe she is with Jesus now... and no longer locked in a prison of darkness and still and quiet as she was those last four years of her young life... and I am grateful beyond measure to have known her... to have crossed paths with her... to carry her memories in my heart and soul... grateful that she had a friend like Donna who was there for her...
Please, God, bless her children... let them always know how much You love them... how much their mother loved them... and how very, very special she was...
I loved her... I miss her...
Posted by Spiderlillies at 3:03 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack