January 18, 2008
We entertain angels unawares...
I’m walking to work this morning, and as I round the corner, I see her feet sticking out the doorway of a church across the street... the closer I get, the more of her I can see... she sits there in the midst of a jumble of blankets and bags, her skirt pulled up above her knees, her plump legs bare to the morning sun and breeze... she’s eating candy and smiling... I cross the street sooner than I usually do so I can pass by and say good morning, pulling off my gloves and earmuffs as I go... and when I reach her, she says, “Can you help me?”... I tell her I have no cash but she can have these... and the smile that lights up her face as she accepts my gloves is as the sunshine peeking out of storm clouds on a dark day... it brightens the whole street and my morning, too...
I walk on down the street and hear her voice behind me... wait... I want to give you something, too... and I stop and look back to see her moving toward me with a plastic shopping bag in her hand... I wait for her... and she reaches me, all smiles and joy, and pulls a lovely red-straw hat with a red and purple rose on it from the bag and hands it to me... I want you to have this, she says... and I take it from her and settle it on my head... our smiles fill the air between us... and I say thank you... and after we exchange a big hug, she tells me... somebody gave it to me last night and I want you to have it... they said it’s, it’s, it’s... and I finish for her... the red hat club?... and she smiles and exclaims, Yes! but I don’t know where it is... I don’t know how to find it... and I tell her it’s in our hearts... not a place... the red hat club is women over 50, which is me for sure... and she says it’s her, too, but she wants me to have the lovely hat...
And she links arms with me and says she will make sure I get across the street okay... and she dances along beside me... our arms linked... singing an old Beatles song... all you need is love, love... all you need is love... and I sing along with her... we reach the corner... she pushes the button on the light pole... and we wait for the walk signal... we are still singing... she is still dancing... then she walks across the street with me... and we stop and hug each other goodbye... and I walk on to my office... still wearing the red hat... looking back before I enter my building to see her safely cross the street and on her way back to her doorway... still dancing... still smiling...
We entertain angels unawares...
An angel gave her a red hat and it gave her joy...
An angel gave me the red hat and the joy spread to me...
And Tuesday night when I go to the nursing home, an angel will give the red hat to a lonely little lady who always, always, always wears hats... and the joy will spread to her...
And whenever I or anyone else sees her proudly wearing her red hat... the joy will spread to us...
We entertain angels unawares...
Adventures in Everyday Life | By Spiderlillies | 3:58 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
October 12, 2007
i got chance?
she was standing in line at the grocery store... waiting to check out her groceries... when she felt someone staring at her... (you know how it is... you can ‘feel’ someone gazing at you...) she looks up... he turns his head quickly... seemingly embarrassed at being caught... a minute later, she feels his gaze again... looks up... he turns quickly... and she smiles inside her head... (it’s flattering to be noticed even if you’re not in the least interested...) the cashier takes his money... he takes his groceries and leaves... and she forgets the moment... thinking of the welcome that awaits her at home...
when she leaves the store... he is standing outside the door... looking a little lost... as if he is waiting for someone... and as is her custom, she smiles and speaks... good evening... (for you never know if your smile is the only one someone may get that day...) and then goes on her way... loads her groceries into the car... gets in... key in hand... and there is a tapping at the passenger window... she looks up to see him there...
his is not a threatening presence... and she reaches across... rolls the window about one-third of the way down... and he asks in broken english... “i got chance call you sometime?” she replies with a question of her own... “pardon?” he repeats... “i got chance call you sometime?” and understanding dawns... she smiles and shakes her head... “well, you could, but I’m married and my husband wouldn’t like it.”
panic crosses his face... he holds both hands up... palms toward her... and begins to back away... “sorry... sorry... i am sorry...” and breaks into a run...
she laughs to herself... life is never, ever boring... and she goes home to her wonderful husband...
Adventures in Everyday Life | By Spiderlillies | 12:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
September 21, 2007
see you later, Cheryl...
I remember the first time I saw Cheryl... my little momma and I had just gotten out of the car and were walking across the parking lot to the double doors that led into the little church where I worshiped and fellowshipped... when a little car came whipping into the parking lot and this vibrant dark-haired girl stuck her head out the window and asked what time church started... "Eleven o’clock," I answered, "Why don’t you come on in and sit with us?" And she did. Thus began a treasured friendship...
She came... she stayed... she conquered hearts wherever she went. We all loved her. And she loved us... loved God... loved our pastor and his family. If the doors to the church were open, she was there. Her servant’s heart beat for us all, and we knew when we asked her to pray that she really would... and did. Yet that heart was frail... often threatening to fail her... she had more open-heart surgeries and procedures than anyone I ever knew, and she was just a young woman, certainly younger than me... sometimes spent weeks in the hospital... visited by one and all.
I remember one particular hospitalization when she was in a hospital near where I worked, and I could pop over to visit her after work... take her something from "outside" to eat... and we’d sit and talk and talk and talk... laughing.. whispering... sharing secrets... philosophizing... dreaming... and when visiting hours were over, the nurses just smiled and left us alone... some nights I was there til 10:30 or 11 at night because she didn’t want me to leave.
In spite of her fragility, she volunteered every year at Camp Victory... a children’s church camp we held down in south Georgia in the heat of July every summer... working right there in the kitchen from before sunup til near midnight every day for a week... on Mondays, excitement triumphed... on Tuesdays, feet began to ache... on Wednesdays, we’d sit together on the side of the tub with our feet soaking in cold water every chance we got... on Thursdays, sadness crept in as we realized the week was almost over... and on Fridays, we cried because it was over for this year and began planning for next year... Cheryl never let her heart hold her back...
She was my friend through trial and tragedy... encouraging me, loving me, caring for me and everyone around her...
Her devotion was especially strong for our preacher... her "man of God," she called him... and even when his life took a wrong turn and he began to abuse the position God put him, she didn’t waiver... if he put some of us away, she honored his commands, and at the risk of breaking her own heart, she put us away, too... hence, I lost touch with her for a while...but never stopped loving her, caring for her, praying for her... and I always believed she never stopped loving and praying for me, either...
Yesterday, I learned her frail heart had quit on her... and she went home to be with Jesus...
At the funeral home tonight, looking down on the shell she left behind, I mourned the lost time of these last three years... and wished I’d not stayed away... wished I’d been there for the subsequent hospitalizations... for the good times and bad... for the joys and tears... I learned from her husband and others that she’d never stopped grieving the loss of my physical presence in her life... and it saddens me anew that we allowed a man with feet of clay to keep us apart... for the God he claimed to serve would never have had it that way...
Alas... the last three years are gone... but the years before that are fresh and beautiful in my memory... and the timeless beauty of heaven waits before us... where we’ll walk streets of gold together... see you later, Cheryl... God bless...
for love of others... | By Spiderlillies | 8:09 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
September 17, 2007
3-in-Need
It's so easy to sit at home and hear about the pain and suffering in the world and think, oh, man, somebody oughta do something... we can... there are three in need...
Wonderful things... | By Spiderlillies | 5:49 PM | TrackBack (0)
August 8, 2007
Once there was Dina...
There’s a girl I know named Donna... and I know her because of another girl who was one of my best friends ever in this world...
Eight years ago, my world crashed... my marriage fell apart... my then-husband felt compelled to run away from home in search of completion he didn’t find at home... and I thought I’d die... thought my heart would simply stop beating... my lungs would stop pumping air... and in the midst of the pain, God filled my heart with a peace that surpassed understanding... gave me strength to get through each day one minute at a time... then one hour at a time... then one day at a time...
God was (and is) always, always sublimely and supremely faithful to hold me up and love me... to fill my heart with love and prayers instead of anger or bitterness... and finally the wounds healed and I was able to let go of the past and grasp the future... and God prepared me for the man who is now my husband... whose life and love and faith I share... and I can say with all honesty that my cup runneth over... that I am indeed a woman blessed among women... that I am where I belong to be... and with whom I belong to be with...
I share that story with you to set the scene for this one...
One of the blessings He gave me during that dark time was Dina... a new friend whose heart beat for mine... who prayed for me... and talked to me... who listened to me and wept with me... and who, on my wedding anniversary that first year, left her three babies at home with their father in New Jersey to travel to the deep south to spend the weekend with me...
I met her at the airport... literally... we were internet friends... telephone friends... letter writing friends... till that point...
I had a bouquet of helium balloons with me so she’d recognize me... she knew I was blonde and I knew she was brunette... we hadn't even exchanged photos... and, oh, how we laughed with delight when we realized we were both wearing jeans, brown boots, and matching black tops... and the sisterly love that had begun in hours of online chat was cemented at first sight... as we walked through the airport on the way to my car, she took the greatest delight in handing out the balloons one at a time to children we passed along the way...
Our weekend was full and blessed... we had surprise gifts for one another... I’d gotten her an Atlanta Braves shirt... and she had me a New York Yankees shirt... we had plans to go to a tatoo shop the next morning and get me a little heart tattoo (Dina had a little rose)... but we went that night and did it... we had so much fun playing around and entertained everybody there... I wanted a teensy, teensy dime-sized heart and Dina exclaimed, “Omigoodness... you can’t get one that little... have you seen the size of your canvas lately?” I thought I’d choke, I laughed so hard... and I got one a little bigger... she paid for it... called it my un-anniversary gift...
We went home and watched her then-favorite television show... Cops... and I still never hear “Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when we come for you?” without thinking of Dina...
We got up the next morning and surprised each other in the kitchen wearing matching clothes again... this time jeans and long-sleeved chocolate colored tops we’d both bought at Victoria’s Secret... we went to Underground Atlanta... Five Points... and Little Five Points... ate lunch at a sidewalk cafe... bought matching souvenirs... little elephants... then went out to supper at my favorite Cajun restaurant and sampled nearly everything on the menu... okay, maybe not everything, but we had four or five entrees filling our table and not nearly enough room for it all inside our tummies...
She went to church with me the next morning... didn’t bring a dress to wear because we knew we were both the same size, so she wore one of mine... and she being Catholic and me going to a little Missionary Baptist church, it was an adventure... she asked me what would happen and I tried to give her the run-down ahead of time... I sang in the choir and she kept waving at me and giggling because she knew that sedate me in the choir had a brand new tattoo... and I waved back... she put a note in the collection basket that said, “Dear Jesus, please take care of my friend because she loves you and she needs you.” (I know because the preacher showed it to me later.) She asked me if he would yell and I told her no, but I was so used to the pastor’s preaching that I didn’t even notice he did yell til I looked over to see her cringing... and she whispered, “You said he didn’t yell... he’s yelling!” I said, “No he’s not,” and she said, “Yes, he is!” and I suddenly realized, omigosh... he is!!!!” When we left, she had a hundred questions... what does he mean by saved... why were they dedicating the baby... and more... and I answered them all the best I could.
I made teddy bears for her babies for Christmas... and we shared more love and laughter, tears and smiles, secrets and stories... our friend Robbie, who Dina introduced me to because she said we were both spiritual and talked about God the same way... once sent us both big packages full of treats, including home-made brownies... and Dina called me to ask if I’d eaten mine yet and I told her I was about to, and she said, “Well, you eat yours and if you don’t die, I’ll eat mine”... and I ate mine, and she ate hers, and the brownies were, incidentally, delicious, and neither of us died... in fact, Robbie was one of the groomsmen at my wedding a couple of years ago...
Then... a couple of years later... in 2002... she was in a freak motorcycles accident in New York where there are no helmet laws... and my beloved Dina didn’t wake up...
Enter Donna... Dina’s heart friend... with children of her own... who went to the hospital practically every day after work to see Dina... to talk to her... to play Dina’s favorite music for her... to put lotion on her sweet skin... to exercise her arms and legs... and did this with love and devotion for years, till Dina was moved to an upstate facility too far away for Donna to go to as frequently, but she still went every chance she got. I’d write to Donna once in a blue moon to let her know that I still loved and remembered, and prayed and thought of Dina every day... to let her know Dina wasn’t and never will be forgotten...
And then I met the man who is now my husband... married... changed my name... moved... (had already changed my phone number, thanks to a stalker...) and didn’t get back in touch with Donna til a week or so ago... just a little card to let her know I was still praying for Dina... still loved her and thought of her... and that I was praying for her, Donna, too...
Last night I got home to a card from Donna... Dina died in March 2006... Donna had tried to reach me, but couldn’t find me...
And so I sat last night and wept for the beautiful... inside and out... friend who is no longer of this world... am weeping now... I trust and believe she is with Jesus now... and no longer locked in a prison of darkness and still and quiet as she was those last four years of her young life... and I am grateful beyond measure to have known her... to have crossed paths with her... to carry her memories in my heart and soul... grateful that she had a friend like Donna who was there for her...
Please, God, bless her children... let them always know how much You love them... how much their mother loved them... and how very, very special she was...
I loved her... I miss her...
for love of others... | By Spiderlillies | 3:03 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
July 27, 2007
Welcome, Little One...
I’m going to be an aunt again... which is a wonderful thing...
My nephew and his bride are expecting their first child on their first wedding anniversary...
I’m happy for them, and excited for them... even never having had a child of my own, I know it’s an amazing thing to have a baby... to carry it safely in your tummy for those nine months... to see it born... to love it and hold it, cherish and protect it, to play with it and teach it.. and raise it up in the love of the Lord...
And even while my heart is overflowing with joy and anticipation of the newest little one to love, it is also breaking over the surrounding circumstances... my nephew is in jail awaiting an uncertain fate... and his bride is essentially alone... my heart breaks that they aren’t together to share every minute of this amazing journey together...
I’m praying, of course, for the judge to look upon Trey with favor... for one more instance of leniency... one more chance... not because he deserves it... he doesn’t, but then, neither do any of us deserve the favor in our lives, so in that respect he's no different than you or me... but I’m hoping for one more chance anyway... for Katie to have a husband by her side to protect her and provide for her... for my new little nephew or niece to have a daddy in his life... for Trey to stand up and be the man he should be...
I think he’s in the belly of the whale now... and like Jonah, he paid his own way in... but when the whale spits him out onto shore, I pray that He is a changed man... one his son can look up to... one his daughter can model her future husband after... one under whose protection his wife can rest safely and securely... I pray that he will have learned that he cannot risk their future and security for any momentary pleasure... that every action has a consequence... and that some prices are too high to pay...
And yet... even in the darkness... even as storm clouds hover over the place he is locked away... there is a blessing forming... a child about to be born... a babe on its way... a baby who will be deeply loved and wanted by his parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and cousins...
Welcome, little one... I can hardly wait to meet you... and I can hardly wait for you to meet your mommy and daddy... I suspect their hearts are about to burst with love for your this very minute...
Family Milestones... | By Spiderlillies | 10:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)